Posted in Education, music, piano, Thought

Chopin Nocturne

– The biggest help I can give myself when I study is breathing.

– Taking the piece in sections is good as well.. after I feel I have familiarised myself with the music text and worked on the details.. Why do I do this? It helps me become more specific as to what I want to do and how I want to proceed.

– It is hard to focus on my legs… I am not certain however as to how important that is during practice..

– I am finding it hard to relax my lower back and pelvis.

HOMEWORK:

-> I want to learn to play slowly

->…to play with my heart/soul first

->… to not put myself into little boxes (Have to’s etc.)

->…to relax my wrists

->…to breathe

->…to make music sing…

->…to polish my phrasing.

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Posted in life, Thought

Feeling better

I came down to my mom’s office space the other day…it’s good to just leave the house every now and again whether I have something to do or not, just to refresh my brain. Without even realising it, I was feeling low or I cannot seem to generate new ideas if I stay in the how for more than 48 hrs straight. We need stimuli visual, auditory…all our senses need to be refreshed and stimulated. More than anything else…to feel better…to interact with others…I enjoy staying on my own but seeing other people..smelling hearing feeling other situations helps me renew myself and feel better instantly whether I was feeling stuck, low or not..I go to my ballet class twice a week and every time I go back home..I am jumping up and down, smile..feel more energised.

Posted in Thought

Thought!

I had this idea last night..in the middle of the night while laying in bed and I thought of getting up and writing it down but unfortunately…I never did…NOW…i remember nothing… Not even what it was about…I think it was music related..but my brain was running and talking and working and stupidly I thought I would be able to remember everything today…nope!

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Posted in life, music, piano, Thought

Fear…

Why am I afraid of practicing music?

Why am I afraid of anything really… I have been reading a book these days, that talks about musicality, music performance and all the things we can improve upon as musicians…and embrace who we are, and find ourselves again – if at some point we have lost our way – and be productive with our music expression, learning, teaching, performance…

In this moment, I feel so afraid… I am away from everything and everyone I have ever known…and I am restarting my life…trying to stay positive when I feel low..be brave and give a true chance to myself and what I want to do with music! I will not talk about my personal life…because I don’t see any point anymore in dissecting every single part of it…well, and I am in love..truly, madly, deeply….which leaves me so scared at times…it shouldn’t but I feel so open and vulnerable because of it…and I am not used to allowing myself being in it and really living it..

So, back to music…

There are no excuses anymore..I have worked very hard to be able to call myself a professional musician and not someone who just enjoys playing every now and then…but my fear of not making it…made me stop playing so many times already…and I have no excuse anymore for not going after it… My life used to be all about music..and then one day…I felt scared, overwhelmed and insecure that I stopped being in it and just practiced (well, it wasn’t true practice) with no purpose, no professional or personal goal…tried different jobs within the music and art realm and on various posts. But I was never truly happy and satisfied…a few times I dropped out of it and went back to performing until another job appeared that would allow me to have something of an income, but no personal time, and definitely no time for creating and performing music…and this has been happening for the past 5 years….so now, I have reached a “do or die” moment. It sound very strict, harsh etc. but I wanna do it…This is who I am and I cannot let fear hold me back! Not anymore…

Let’s see where it will take me…