– The biggest help I can give myself when I study is breathing.
– Taking the piece in sections is good as well.. after I feel I have familiarised myself with the music text and worked on the details.. Why do I do this? It helps me become more specific as to what I want to do and how I want to proceed.
– It is hard to focus on my legs… I am not certain however as to how important that is during practice..
– I am finding it hard to relax my lower back and pelvis.
-> I want to learn to play slowly
->…to play with my heart/soul first
->… to not put myself into little boxes (Have to’s etc.)
->…to relax my wrists
->…to make music sing…
->…to polish my phrasing.
You know what I’m thinking?
I want to put my own spin in the pieces I am performing. Even if that makes the piece slightly different. We are all different, we don’t have to all play in the exact same way.
* I will always be respectful of the text, however, I will also ALWAYS investigate in order to make new discoveries..
Right now, I’ve simply listened to a few recordings and read some articles, but that is not enough..
HOMEWORK: I need to listen to the same recordings, find others and read more about Chopin and the time in his life when he wrote this Nocturne.
I want to put my own twist and also find my own way of playing, otherwise, I will always put myself into little boxes and will never enjoy playing for real..
As I was practicing I realised that the KEY is to play the piece the way that I want and NOT as I think it should be played.
I have now the knowledge and the experience (BUT the music as well guides me..) to understand the style and the character of a piece.
However, I don’t think it is a problem to explore your musicality and expand your own creativity while playing something, even if it leads you to a very different path from what was originally intended or what is widely known and accepted about this piece. (Through recordings and such).
If nothing else, you will feel free, you will relax as there will be no expectation and you might actually discover something new about yourself as a musician, pianist, even as a human being. 🙂
– So, that’s what I did and will continue doing today.
Later, I will take small phrases or bars or segments of the piece to improve it technically, BUT not the whole piece, as I don’t want to spoil it by over thinking or over trying.
Why am I afraid of practicing music?
Why am I afraid of anything really… I have been reading a book these days, that talks about musicality, music performance and all the things we can improve upon as musicians…and embrace who we are, and find ourselves again – if at some point we have lost our way – and be productive with our music expression, learning, teaching, performance…
In this moment, I feel so afraid… I am away from everything and everyone I have ever known…and I am restarting my life…trying to stay positive when I feel low..be brave and give a true chance to myself and what I want to do with music! I will not talk about my personal life…because I don’t see any point anymore in dissecting every single part of it…well, and I am in love..truly, madly, deeply….which leaves me so scared at times…it shouldn’t but I feel so open and vulnerable because of it…and I am not used to allowing myself being in it and really living it..
So, back to music…
There are no excuses anymore..I have worked very hard to be able to call myself a professional musician and not someone who just enjoys playing every now and then…but my fear of not making it…made me stop playing so many times already…and I have no excuse anymore for not going after it… My life used to be all about music..and then one day…I felt scared, overwhelmed and insecure that I stopped being in it and just practiced (well, it wasn’t true practice) with no purpose, no professional or personal goal…tried different jobs within the music and art realm and on various posts. But I was never truly happy and satisfied…a few times I dropped out of it and went back to performing until another job appeared that would allow me to have something of an income, but no personal time, and definitely no time for creating and performing music…and this has been happening for the past 5 years….so now, I have reached a “do or die” moment. It sound very strict, harsh etc. but I wanna do it…This is who I am and I cannot let fear hold me back! Not anymore…
Let’s see where it will take me…