– The biggest help I can give myself when I study is breathing.
– Taking the piece in sections is good as well.. after I feel I have familiarised myself with the music text and worked on the details.. Why do I do this? It helps me become more specific as to what I want to do and how I want to proceed.
– It is hard to focus on my legs… I am not certain however as to how important that is during practice..
– I am finding it hard to relax my lower back and pelvis.
-> I want to learn to play slowly
->…to play with my heart/soul first
->… to not put myself into little boxes (Have to’s etc.)
->…to relax my wrists
->…to make music sing…
->…to polish my phrasing.
I came down to my mom’s office space the other day…it’s good to just leave the house every now and again whether I have something to do or not, just to refresh my brain. Without even realising it, I was feeling low or I cannot seem to generate new ideas if I stay in the how for more than 48 hrs straight. We need stimuli visual, auditory…all our senses need to be refreshed and stimulated. More than anything else…to feel better…to interact with others…I enjoy staying on my own but seeing other people..smelling hearing feeling other situations helps me renew myself and feel better instantly whether I was feeling stuck, low or not..I go to my ballet class twice a week and every time I go back home..I am jumping up and down, smile..feel more energised.
I had this idea last night..in the middle of the night while laying in bed and I thought of getting up and writing it down but unfortunately…I never did…NOW…i remember nothing… Not even what it was about…I think it was music related..but my brain was running and talking and working and stupidly I thought I would be able to remember everything today…nope!
You know what I’m thinking?
I want to put my own spin in the pieces I am performing. Even if that makes the piece slightly different. We are all different, we don’t have to all play in the exact same way.
* I will always be respectful of the text, however, I will also ALWAYS investigate in order to make new discoveries..
Right now, I’ve simply listened to a few recordings and read some articles, but that is not enough..
HOMEWORK: I need to listen to the same recordings, find others and read more about Chopin and the time in his life when he wrote this Nocturne.
I want to put my own twist and also find my own way of playing, otherwise, I will always put myself into little boxes and will never enjoy playing for real..
Today I talked to a man somewhere in his 50s or 60s who had just lost his 34 year old son in a car accident at the beginning of August..he started crying in front of me and another person…his son’s wife is 30..they have two little girls (5 and 1,5 years old)..
It made me think.. It kind of came like a slap in the face, like a bucket of ice water being poured on my head…like a jolt of electricity like.. You see I have come out of a difficult relationship recently and I was feeling low and hurt because of it.. I lost somebody too and a part of me with them.. There are always other issues in the background too…with someone close to me being very ill and with job hunting stuff and negative people I have met…and I am carrying around this feeling of sadness and disappointment because I just don’t get people sometimes. There are so many beautiful things we can do each day….so many things to learn and feel good about ourselves…so many things to share with each other..being on my own is an activity I thoroughly enjoy but more often than not, I meet people with who I can be myself around and share my experiences and actually live a few hrs or days as if everything is beautiful and effortless and like there is no tomorrow… It is an exciting feeling and I love when this happens because you really don’t know if you will get the chance to see them again or to see them soon enough due to work and/or other stuff..
Meeting this man today made me sad…I cried with him while he talked about it and it makes me want to do something amazing every day whether I want to or not…even if that amazing THING is to not let anything or anyone bring me down..which for some might seem like something small but for me is something veeeeery difficult… It is hard when you feel everything to the extreme to not be affected…even if I am not affected in that moment, I will for sure think about the situation later and get upset somehow…until it goes away…
Therefore, the goal is to at least…not let things get to me!! and do even more whenever I can, things I enjoy, meeting people I like..making little progress on my work and other activities I like, even if it means trying and not getting somewhere substantial every time!!
OK! I am going for it! :*
It is worrying to me that it takes someone else’s tragedy or something completely wrong happening with you to make you remember that life is important and it has more value than anything else..
P.S. This article started differently and ended somewhere else!!!!!! It’s ok… (Evi, stop thinking about it and overanalyzingggg!)
Every time I listen to this..especially the second part, I want to cry..
Three to four years ago this recording was made..on a piano that needed tuning..and with a relatively good microphone that was given to me as a present by a dear friend of mine when I was moving from London to Berlin.
I feel uneasy listening to this but at the same time it makes me feel happy..it reminds me of a time in my life that I was happy and hopeful for the future..that I had support from the people closest to me.
I was an a road to self discovery after many years of trying to become somebody else..It was a happy and fruitful time in my life. Life is full of possibilities and we just need to try and see what might come out of anything that we choose to do and follow.
This recording might not be the best one but it is a part of me..representing a time in my life..and it is out there. Good or bad it does not matter. At least I tried to do something and that is all that matters.
Thank you for listening 🙂
I don’t know how to start this type of post..
After studying all my life and working for a few years now… I feel tired..tired of being unable to find something that makes me feel like this is what I was meant to be doing..
Being in the job market has not been easy for me.. I thought I would be doing something else by now..and that my life would look quite different to what it does now.. However, I feel an incredible joy for the things I have seen and experienced..the people I have met so far and I am truly looking forward to meeting more people and doing more things and seeing more places..
I have travelled and lived around the world…and I always end up wanting the same thing… Creating something of my own. This blog is part of that.. I started this a year ago..wrote two posts and never touched it again..but now..I am back! I want to write, I want to try and maybe something magical will happen in the process or maybe nothing… I am really hoping for the former 😉
So here I am..expressing my ideas..keeping a piano diary of some sort..and discovering new topics I might be interested in discussing..
I don’t want to be stuck in a box and doing only the things others allow me to do. I don’t want to be afraid to express my own voice..
It doesn’t fit with my personality to say exactly who I am and what I do and what I have done so far in my life… I want this to be discovered by anyone who will come here to read my blog (including me to some extend)… 😉
via Daily Prompt: Flattery
Praise that is not sincere…
At least trying to participate in the Daily Prompt..helped me learn something today…
It’s not as if i did not know how to use this word in a sentence…but now after reading its meaning, something made it click in my brain..as if the idea, the understanding was there already but now it makes more sense. Now, I will remember it and will not forget about it..
Maybe, it is because I also saw it written and as we know vision takes precedence over our other senses..for example, someone can tell you a piece of information and you will remember 10% of it after 5 days..but, if you see a picture or a video of the same thing you will probably remember 65% after a few days.
When music begins to have meaning again…
When you enjoy dancing…
When you start enjoying being alone again..
So good…it’s really so good!!!
When u start laughing with the tiniest silliest thing..
When you wanna see your friends again….
When you feel like having conversations with random people….although this never truly disappears from your life…It’s just that now…u r not afraid that u might feel sad about yourself during that conversation..
Someone recently told me that i need to be honest…I thought he meant with others which surprised me..as I always am honest with others – or at least I do my best…but he actually meant with myself…
How weird?! How am I not being honest with myself…well..after long deliberation I concluded that he is right…I am not honest with myself because when I hurt for whatever reason…I don’t want to look at myself..I don’t want to face my fears…
Sometimes it is easier to suffer with the thought that someone has wronged you than actually saying…no..i am great..I feel great and I have so much to look forward to…
Which brings us to now!! Beginning to enjoy life again and for being the sole benefactor of myself and the sole support, stimuli of fun…and as such…I have so many things that I enjoy doing that have nothing to do with what someone said to me or about me or did.. and nothing can affect me…Only me…
I am responsible for me and I have a choice…to enjoy or to not enjoy!! 😉
As I was practicing I realised that the KEY is to play the piece the way that I want and NOT as I think it should be played.
I have now the knowledge and the experience (BUT the music as well guides me..) to understand the style and the character of a piece.
However, I don’t think it is a problem to explore your musicality and expand your own creativity while playing something, even if it leads you to a very different path from what was originally intended or what is widely known and accepted about this piece. (Through recordings and such).
If nothing else, you will feel free, you will relax as there will be no expectation and you might actually discover something new about yourself as a musician, pianist, even as a human being. 🙂
– So, that’s what I did and will continue doing today.
Later, I will take small phrases or bars or segments of the piece to improve it technically, BUT not the whole piece, as I don’t want to spoil it by over thinking or over trying.