Posted in life

What it is like when you lose somebody.

Today I talked to a man somewhere in his 50s or 60s who had just lost his 34 year old son in a car accident at the beginning of August..he started crying in front of me and another person…his son’s wife is 30..they have two little girls (5 and 1,5 years old)..

It made me think.. It kind of came like a slap in the face, like a bucket of ice water being poured on my head…like a jolt of electricity like.. You see I have come out of a difficult relationship recently and I was feeling low and hurt because of it.. I lost somebody too and a part of me with them.. There are always other issues in the background too…with someone close to me being very ill and with job hunting stuff and negative people I have met…and I am carrying around this feeling of sadness and disappointment because I just don’t get people sometimes. There are so many beautiful things we can do each day….so many things to learn and feel good about ourselves…so many things to share with each other..being on my own is an activity I thoroughly enjoy but more often than not, I meet people with who I can be myself around and share my experiences and actually live a few hrs or days as if everything is beautiful and effortless and like there is no tomorrow… It is an exciting feeling and I love when this happens because you really don’t know if you will get the chance to see them again or to see them soon enough due to work and/or other stuff..

Meeting this man today made me sad…I cried with him while he talked about it and it makes me want to do something amazing every day whether I want to or not…even if that amazing THING is to not let anything or anyone bring me down..which for some might seem like something small but for me is something veeeeery difficult… It is hard when you feel everything to the extreme to not be affected…even if I am not affected in that moment, I will for sure think about the situation later and get upset somehow…until it goes away…

Therefore, the goal is to at least…not let things get to me!! and do even more whenever I can, things I enjoy, meeting people I like..making little progress on my work and other activities I like, even if it means trying and not getting somewhere substantial every time!!

OK! I am going for it! :*

It is worrying to me that it takes someone else’s tragedy or something completely wrong happening with you to make you remember that life is important and it has more value than anything else..

P.S. This article started differently and ended somewhere else!!!!!! It’s ok… (Evi, stop thinking about it and overanalyzingggg!)

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